The truth is....it hasn't been easy.

I stated in a my blog post a last week about being intentional, well this is one of the tools that has been helping me. The power of a praying wife by Stormie O'Martian. I have been getting up early in the mornings and hitting the new gazebo, nestled in my muskoka chair. With my cup of Joe next to me. I have made it out every morning except yesterday. I was up all night hacking up a lung, so I slept through the alarm. ( if only I had this amount of determination when it came to getting up early to work out....OK lets not even go there.) One step at a time right?!

     Anyways , today I am outside, Lil miss is having her nap. And Mr.Man is at the park with some friends. I have a cup of coffee on the left arm of my chair and a bag of Veggies on the right. So what does one do now with these few precious moments of silence? I am reflecting, and wanting to share with you a little tid bit of whats being going on here in the Hesch Household.

     Its easy to say that I have been struggling. This past year for us has been very hard. The better half has made some changes in his career, good changes mind you. But still changes. Myself starting and ending a new job. Chloe starting School and having a very hard time with it until December. Mom moved out West. Have barely seen my family this past year. We lost our pastor at our church. I stopped leading youth group.
( something that I had been doing for the last 4 years.) And actually for the last 2 months we haven't being going to church anywhere. We have tried a couple of different churches but Haven't felt that any of them really clicked. So we wait My daily routine of having quiet time and my devo time has gone to wayside as well, I had one prayer in my prayer journal in a month. Something that I am not proud of, but it is true. And we have also had a recent Diagnosis  in the household. Mr. Man was Diagnosed with ODD. Which it is a relief in one way that we finally know that we are not crazy. But it has left us with a lot of questions. And Dealing with the constant outbursts is more than draining. So....Where has this left the better half and I? I wish I could type that we have strong and have come out on the top, But we have struggled too. At the end of the day. We are tired, irritated, drained and left with nothing in the tank. So We have been struggling to connect. The better half shuts down. I pull away. Its been a viscous cycle. One that I could not sit by and take any longer. I want things to better for us. better for our family. Better for myself. So I must take some action. I will start, I have started to fight. I have started to Pray. I will be posting the prayers that I have been praying "For Him', For "His Daugther" For "His Son" For "His Wife" I am starting with my immediate family first and then As I grow stronger again will start adding in everyone else. I feel like I am in the depths of the dessert place. This is a glimmer of hope, and I will not give up. I will press in and I will pray.