Letting go again....First day of SK

This first day of school was way better then last for me. I do remember though standing at the counter making his ham sandwich and thinking to myself. As he gets older and moves up in the grades the harder it is going to get for him. The bullying starts, Using curse words, etc. Is he going to fit in? His he going to be good looking? Are kids going to tease him. I had a million and one thoughts go through my mind.
And all of a sudden my heart began to break.Jacob is going to get hurt. He is going to come home crushed some days. I don't want to see that happen. I am in love with the innocence that he has and his friends have. But as much as I don't want to see him get hurt. I can't keep it from him. Because that is how we learn. we go through the fire to we can be transformed. I just need to remind myself that I need to be here for him. To embrace and comfort him.
not to my surprise at all. Jake walked into the gated playground with his head held high. Looking for his friends. He found them and then he was gone. Jacob is a strong, brave little man. Ready to take on the world. Or at least SK!

Letting go.....First day of JK

It's not so much that I am worried about him. It's just that I am going to miss him. He was at the front of the line to enter the school holding onto a little boys hand and was already having fun.
He didn't notice the tears that I was holding back. He just smiled and walked right on in. No fear, No worries. Just a new adventure. One that he is ready to embark on.
Now its my turn to encourage, cheer him on and wave a little good-bye. And to learn to let my baby boy grow up. And hopefully to realize that my main goal is to raise my children to not need me anymore. To be self sufficient, Strong and brave. and courageous. I spiked his hair and dressed him up, prayed for him and sent him on his way. Do they know how much we really love them??
Letting go.............Bit by bit..... I am letting go.

A little story I had to share.

On family day this year we went to a friend's house. And Our son's went out side for a quick play. As we were sitting at the table drinking a warm cup of coffee I looked out the window, and noticed that my son was climbing the hill outside attempting to drag a G.T up the hill. I sat back and smiled watching him take a few steps and then take a seat. Then stand up and keep dragging that thing up the hill. He was struggling. But he was strong, he was persistent and was determined to make to the top of that hill. A year ago Jacob would have been very frustrated and probably would have given up, but I was watching this 4 year old boy climb. I could not tell if he yelled for his friend Eli or not, but Eli showed up and came down to Jacob to help him the rest of the way. He carried the heavy load for him, and then they both got on and drove down the hill. Jacob was not upset that he did not get the front, but was content letting someone take the drivers seat. and he enjoyed the ride.

Our burden’s weren’t meant to lay upon our shoulders for a long period of time. We were meant to ask for help, and to receive the help, and to climb to the top victoriously. And then Allow God to take the drivers seat of our lives. And hop on and enjoy the ride.

Life’s struggles can be overwhelming at times and hard to shoulder. But remember to keep getting up, and keep being strong. And ask for help. And then Give control to him. For he cares for you.

I would rather be in bed.

This is how our morning looks like on a regular basis. Thomas gets up and runs at 4:30 a.m to be home for 6 a.m when the first little critter crawls out of bed.( Chloe ) He comes and closes our bedroom door so I can sleep in till 7-7:30 a.m Our second little Critter ( Jacob ) awakens anywheres between 6-7. Depends on how loud Chloe is. Cartoons are on and kids are fed by the time I am up. Most of the time Thomas goes back to bed until 8:10 a.m cause he was up so early. Then he heads off to work and then it is just me and the kidlets.
But.....A morning like this morning is what shows me that I am a very selfish creature. I don't want to get up at 6, but I had to because Thomas had to leave for work by then this morning. I don't want to hear demands and screaming and fighting before I even crawl out of bed. I like quiet in the morning. Not happening in this house. And then you make one piece of toast and run out. So Jake gets mad. Cause he wanted 2 pieces of toast. Then I pour the milk into the cereal bowl for Chloe and find that indeed that was the last bag of milk. So what's left for breakfast for me. ( Coffee ) and maybe a bruised banana.

So what's my point??? I am selfish! And I am trying to allow God to change this in me. I don't want to be snippy at my kids, cause I would rather be sleeping. I don't want to snap at them saying will you just give me a Minute so I can at least get out of bed. I need to learn to die to self. I need to learn that I need to go to God first thing in the a.m please Lord help me to remain calm and give to my children right now. Even though I don't want too. Give me a smile on my face and a joy in my heart. Cause Lord I would rather be in bed.

5 a.m to line up for swim lessons. CRAZINESS!

You know you love your kids when you get up @ 5 a.m to go get in a long line up at the Y.M.C.A to register them for swimming lessons. Do my kids know that I was running a fever last night and coughed all night long and felt so sick to my stomach the whole 25 min drive this morning?? No they do not. They did not even notice that I was gone until I walked back in the door @ 7.am.
I love the fact that my 2 kids feel secure. That they feel they can depend on us.
And no....we may not get a huge thank you for sacrificing our time, our energy and our sleep etc. But seeing there smiling little faces and leg squeezes and kisses being blown through the air. is enough for me.