Watch your tone!

Watch your tone!

Guess what I am NOT talking about my kids. I am talking to myself. 

It’s been so easy for anger or defensiveness to creep into my words. When I stop and think about it, I often ask Lil man and Lil miss something, already assuming it will be a battle, and that shows in the way I speak. How can I expect them to do what I ask when my tone is already telling them they don’t want to? How can I expect them to reply in an appropriate manner when I have already set the tone for the conversation with the first words that came out of my mouth? Sometmes I hear myself talking angry, when really, I am not ( yet ) This week I have been really thinking, pondering, digging deep within myself. I have been trying to be honest. Is this the tone that I want set for my household? And Honestly ladies, Mothers. wives. We are the tone setters in our home.
I have watched it over and over and over again. I walk in the door from work. Grab the lunch bags clean them. Look at the agenda's, fill out the forms. Start dinner, break up a couple of fights in the living room. Nag to start the homework as I start to cook dinner. Clean up the bowl of yogort that was spilt on the newly cleaned carpets. Go back to the burning  Cooking dinner. I can feel my blood pressure raising with each incident. Than Mr.man walks in the door. I am standing at the stove. with a stand offish tone. I am talking with an irratated tone. I am conveying a nasty tone. So what happens? Unless I can calm myself down. It trickles down the line. Mr.man feels the tension and it carry's over to the dinner table.

I am not o.k with this. I am not with any of it. I am not ok with the tone that I set. 

I am the catalyst for change and if I want my family’s conversation to be kind, understanding, and pleasent then every time I open my own mouth I need to hear those words in my head…And speak them. 

It’s not going to be easy for me. There are a few hard truths that I will need to face. 

I need to tackle our routine and my own personal time management. And got off of FB.
I need to find joy and peace in looking after our home. Because sometimes everything seems pointless and mundane.
 
I need to give myself freely to the joy of being with my children when they need me. I need to stop being selfsih and sit down and play playdoh.

I need to extend ‘my tone’ beyond my children to my husband and to myself. 

I am not saying that I want a perfect home. Where things will always be gum drops and lolipops. It won't be a home where everyone is happy all of the time. It's not a home where the wheels never fall off. But it is a home that manages the set backs, the frustrations and the disasters, big and small, with grace and love.
I want to live in that home. I want to set the tone for that home.