Welcome
I am indeed a work in progress. I want to live my life intentionally everyday. Yes, its hard sometimes to stand up fight. But If I don't, who will?
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Life is like a deck of cards
Have you ever felt like you were dealt a hand of cards that were crap. You know that kinda of hand that you look at and say, really?? Did you stack the deck so you would win, and I would loose? Cause I have Nothing to play with.
But as you play in the game of life. You see that a card can be played. and it really wasn't all that bad. You played with the hand you were dealt. You might not have won. But you finished. You may not have the perfect hand, but you tried the best with what you had. And then waited for the next deal. Maybe its better, maybe its worse. But you kept pushing through and making the best of situation. And you always seem to be able to play something.
You go down the road that you aren't in control of when your younger. You learn what you learn from watching, and imitating what you see right in front of you. You repeat the words that your ears hear. Your actions speak louder then your words. Because that's what tends to happen. You become a product of your environment good or bad.
But when you grow up you get to make your own choices. choices that are going to define who you are. Your morals, what you will stand for or what you will fall for. You get to choose who you want to become.
You get to choose to be different. to recreate or imitate. You get to break the chain or add another link.
Life is not easy. And sometimes things happen that aren't fair, and that don't rest easy in our spirits. Or that makes us question or doubt. I have had many of these moments in my life. Many...But the one thing that I have learned over the years. His light will shine when everything else fades. We aren't alone in this messy game of life. I have to remember that. Do you?
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Blah
We just got home from my lil man's hockey game. And I am now snuggled on my bed hugging a warm cup of hot chocolate. What is it about the warmth of a cup that makes my heart want to share? Maybe its just the fact that it makes me slow down. To ponder the things that have been consuming my mind. I need slowness, I need time to reflect. Today is one of those days. My mind has been so crammed full and with no release.
I have been in tears a lot lately. Daily, actually. I am sad.
I am the type of person that likes to fix things, and yes, I admit I am a bit of a control freak.There are so many things in my life right now that I wish that I had that magic wand to wave to make everything right again. Life has been so overwhelming, draining and busy. And sometimes just unexplainable, and unfixable. And I don't handle any of those things well.
So here I sit, at the end of my rope. Wishing for a way out. Wondering if the sweet Lord Jesus would come back today, I would willinging offer to go.
I am tired of people. More so, I am tired of people hurting me. For whatever reason the people that I am closest to, the ones that I am suppose to lean on, the ones that are to love me to the ends of the earth. Are the very ones who let me down. The human race sucks! I sometimes understand and think that living as hermit as its benefits.
Yet, I always loved people. I loved mingling and chatting and going for coffee and chatting. I am withdrawing more and more. And no one notices and no one cares.
I don't really have a relationship with my parents. I don't have a relationship with my siblings. I don't really have any friends. Sure I have the people that come to me with their problems and worries and life's struggles. But no one stops to listen to my heart. No one is ever there for me.
I know I sound so selfish. So me, me, me. I am really not trying to be. I guess the best word to describe it is... Lonely. I am so incredibly lonely.
I want depth. I want love. I want to be cherished. I want to be noticed. I want to feel like I am appreciated, and that I matter. I am always on the low end of the Totem pole in peoples priorities list.
What is it about me that people can't love? Do you know that I ask myself this question almost daily. What is it that makes people leave. Or even worse...stay, but not invest.
My mom, She hurt me for years. Until this past year. I have finally shut her out emotionally.
My dad, Well he doesn't really know me. We missed so many years together ( over 2 decades.) And our lives are separate , Not knowing how to really to connect them. And with little effort on his part. and now...Little on mine.
The same story goes with my 3 Half siblings.
Friends....What friends?
Children, Jake hates me and tells me that daily.
Husband, Disconnected and busy and priorities are else where. I thought It was the running....I guess not.
I want to feel like someones princess. My ex husband. Garrett used to call me his princess, and then left me.
I wish that I could understand whats wrong with me. I have asked a million times for wisdom and an understanding. And nothing.
Sigh....I am tired. I am so tired of trying I honestly just want to curl up and hide. I wish this horrible feeling would leave.
bye for now.
I have been in tears a lot lately. Daily, actually. I am sad.
I am the type of person that likes to fix things, and yes, I admit I am a bit of a control freak.There are so many things in my life right now that I wish that I had that magic wand to wave to make everything right again. Life has been so overwhelming, draining and busy. And sometimes just unexplainable, and unfixable. And I don't handle any of those things well.
So here I sit, at the end of my rope. Wishing for a way out. Wondering if the sweet Lord Jesus would come back today, I would willinging offer to go.
I am tired of people. More so, I am tired of people hurting me. For whatever reason the people that I am closest to, the ones that I am suppose to lean on, the ones that are to love me to the ends of the earth. Are the very ones who let me down. The human race sucks! I sometimes understand and think that living as hermit as its benefits.
Yet, I always loved people. I loved mingling and chatting and going for coffee and chatting. I am withdrawing more and more. And no one notices and no one cares.
I don't really have a relationship with my parents. I don't have a relationship with my siblings. I don't really have any friends. Sure I have the people that come to me with their problems and worries and life's struggles. But no one stops to listen to my heart. No one is ever there for me.
I know I sound so selfish. So me, me, me. I am really not trying to be. I guess the best word to describe it is... Lonely. I am so incredibly lonely.
I want depth. I want love. I want to be cherished. I want to be noticed. I want to feel like I am appreciated, and that I matter. I am always on the low end of the Totem pole in peoples priorities list.
What is it about me that people can't love? Do you know that I ask myself this question almost daily. What is it that makes people leave. Or even worse...stay, but not invest.
My mom, She hurt me for years. Until this past year. I have finally shut her out emotionally.
My dad, Well he doesn't really know me. We missed so many years together ( over 2 decades.) And our lives are separate , Not knowing how to really to connect them. And with little effort on his part. and now...Little on mine.
The same story goes with my 3 Half siblings.
Friends....What friends?
Children, Jake hates me and tells me that daily.
Husband, Disconnected and busy and priorities are else where. I thought It was the running....I guess not.
I want to feel like someones princess. My ex husband. Garrett used to call me his princess, and then left me.
I wish that I could understand whats wrong with me. I have asked a million times for wisdom and an understanding. And nothing.
Sigh....I am tired. I am so tired of trying I honestly just want to curl up and hide. I wish this horrible feeling would leave.
bye for now.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Home made Potato Chips
Home made Potato Chips
I don't normally like microwaves...And I honestly rarely use them to re heat even....But I do use it for these little gems. There is nothing added. No salt. No oil. Just thin sliced potatoes and 2 handy kitchen items. My kids...LOVE getting them in their lunches.
Here is a link to my Friend Amanda Gould Who sells these handy little items.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The Benefits of eating Organic Tomatoes
The Benefits of eating Organic Tomatoes
We planted a family garden this year. And it was so exciting to eat fresh veggies from our garden.
So again I have done a little digging and found some great info. A new study has shown that Organic tomatoes have a higher level in antioxidants the the conventionally grown ones.
Researches from the university of Barcelona and the institute of the health is Spain. Did a a comparison and the natural amount of Polyphenols ( which are found to protect against heart disease ) and some cancers. Are much higher. Polyphenols are produced as the lovely tomatoes ripen and are affected by the plants growing conditions. Researches state that antioxidants increase in response to the "stress Conditions"( how hard the plant has to work to access the nutrients from the soil.)
So to break it down....organic Tomatoes have to work much harder, because there was no nitrogenous fertilizers. Which means that the tomato plants have to activate their own defense mechanisms. Which in return releases increasing levels of all antioxidants. hmmm very cool.
Another tid bit of info...Spain is one of the Top exporters of tomatoes...I didn't know that.
They study that I read this info was from from the journal of agricultural and food chemistry.
So go grab some organic tomatoes, it might help fight against heart disease.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Peanut butter
I have tried for a very long time to introduce real peanut butter. So here is the scoop. Husband and I will eat it. lil miss will eat it. Lil man will NOT. I tried making some apple and peanut butter treats and he took one bite and said...YUK that's the gross peanut butter. So I caved and put a tablespoon on of the Skippy. This is going to take a lot longer that I thought to completely convert over for the kids....So baby steps it is.
Why am I trying to change peanut butters???
Well Are the ingredients....
Real peanut butter from the health food store Ingredients : Crushed Peanuts
Skippy Peanut butter ingredient :Fresh roasted peanuts, Soybean oil, Maltodextrin, Icing sugar, Hydrogenated Vegetable oil, salt.
I am currently working on a list of ingredients that I have no clue what they are and on a later day....I am going to reveal what each ingredient truly is. Anything Highlighted in Red with be researched!!!! If there is a certain ingredient that you are wondering about. Leave a comment. I will do some digging for you.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Organic finds.
This is a spaghetti sauce that I have been using for a few years. The ingredients are all organic Tomatoes, basil,salt, chopped onions, garlic powder, oregano and Chopped garlic.
3 jars for 8.95 Costco
Apple sauce...I do make my own applesauce in the fall. When we drive through Meaford and go apple picking. But I also grab this one....Just apples and ascorbic acid. Found at Costco
3 jars for 8.95 Costco
Apple sauce...I do make my own applesauce in the fall. When we drive through Meaford and go apple picking. But I also grab this one....Just apples and ascorbic acid. Found at Costco
3 jars for $ 4.95
Snacks
Here is a healthy snack including:
Carrots
Snow peas
Cucumber
Fresh ranch dip made by
http://www.fresh-a-fare.com/
Strawberries
Fresh Peaches
Organic Raisins From Natures best
http://naturesbest-glenwood.foodpages.ca/
Quick and Easy.
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