Tonsils...Yukky

My brave son at 6 1/2 had his tonsils out this past Tuesday. I must admit I was more nervous then he was. We borrowed a 10 minute video explaining all of the procedure. It was to in depth, but enough to make the wee man get some tears in his eyes. He openly admitted that he was scared. ( but just a little bit.) I held back the tears and mustarded up some words of encouragement. Meanwhile I was scared too.

    Jacob and I headed into Barrie At 8 am to be there in plenty of time. And everything went as planned. We brought his DSI and his favorite blanket, even though he insisted that he didn't need it.

     The video was right on the money. He got a number and waited in one room. We answered lots of questions and moved into another waiting room, and then to another, where Jake was asked to get changed into a gown. this did not go over very well, and I have to convince him that it looked like a candy cane. It worked well enough for him to put it on. We sat down in yet another waiting room and we met a male Nurse named Brad. He was actually assigned to us for the whole day. I think this was a God hug for me. Because Brad got to go into surgery with Jacob. So he wasn't alone. Which was great. The Dr came in and explained everything one last time. Looked and me and pointed to the hallway. Now mom...you are going to go right and we are going to go left. Ok, He must have seen right threw me and knew I wanted to go in the operating room. So Jacob jumped up put away his DSI, Brad grabbed his blanket and as the Dr. Predicted they went left, and I turned right. Jacob was brave. So brave. No tears, he just marched down the hall. I had to blow him a kiss and turn quickly. Yes there were tears in my eyes, but reminded myself. this is such a normal procedure. Its fine. I went and grabbed a coffee and headed back to the very first waiting room. just like I was instructed to do. About half an hour later the Dr. came out and said it went fine. And went over all of the details. Phew it was over. Now let me see him I was thinking. But I had to wait until he woke up.
   That didn't take long actually. I was holding a pager in my hand and it went off. So the nurse took me down to see him. He was pulling in as I was walking in and when he saw me, he started to cry. As did I. Being a momma you hate to see your child hurting and I now understand all the times when my mom said she would take away my pain if she could, when I was sick.
Jacob did very well. He was a trooper and he did great. he was weepy for a little bit, and then fell asleep for about 10 mins. Not like all the other kids there. They were all passed out for the whole 6 hours being there.
He never threw up and never complained. He ate about 5 whole Popsicles and drank lots. He was a great little patient.

  Now he is home and he continues to not complain even though he is using his whole body to swallow. I honestly cannot believe how well he has managed. He is sore and in pain, but you wouldn't know it.
Last night was the worst thus far. He passed out at 6 pm with all of his clothes on and slept till 6:30 am the next morning. We did have an awake time from 11:30 - 12:00 pm where he ate some freezies and of course I had to wake him up a few times to take his meds.

   But I must say, Jacob has a high pain tolerance and is being a champ. He wants to run and jump around. But understands he can't. He wants pizza, but understands no scratchy foods. He wants to go back to school. But he knows he needs time to heal.
speaking of school, his class sent him cards. which honestly brightened Jakers day and had a huge smile for hours. This was amazing. And So appreciated.
 So, My son. You amaze me by your strength once again. Love Mom

Letting go again....First day of SK

This first day of school was way better then last for me. I do remember though standing at the counter making his ham sandwich and thinking to myself. As he gets older and moves up in the grades the harder it is going to get for him. The bullying starts, Using curse words, etc. Is he going to fit in? His he going to be good looking? Are kids going to tease him. I had a million and one thoughts go through my mind.
And all of a sudden my heart began to break.Jacob is going to get hurt. He is going to come home crushed some days. I don't want to see that happen. I am in love with the innocence that he has and his friends have. But as much as I don't want to see him get hurt. I can't keep it from him. Because that is how we learn. we go through the fire to we can be transformed. I just need to remind myself that I need to be here for him. To embrace and comfort him.
not to my surprise at all. Jake walked into the gated playground with his head held high. Looking for his friends. He found them and then he was gone. Jacob is a strong, brave little man. Ready to take on the world. Or at least SK!

Letting go.....First day of JK

It's not so much that I am worried about him. It's just that I am going to miss him. He was at the front of the line to enter the school holding onto a little boys hand and was already having fun.
He didn't notice the tears that I was holding back. He just smiled and walked right on in. No fear, No worries. Just a new adventure. One that he is ready to embark on.
Now its my turn to encourage, cheer him on and wave a little good-bye. And to learn to let my baby boy grow up. And hopefully to realize that my main goal is to raise my children to not need me anymore. To be self sufficient, Strong and brave. and courageous. I spiked his hair and dressed him up, prayed for him and sent him on his way. Do they know how much we really love them??
Letting go.............Bit by bit..... I am letting go.

A little story I had to share.

On family day this year we went to a friend's house. And Our son's went out side for a quick play. As we were sitting at the table drinking a warm cup of coffee I looked out the window, and noticed that my son was climbing the hill outside attempting to drag a G.T up the hill. I sat back and smiled watching him take a few steps and then take a seat. Then stand up and keep dragging that thing up the hill. He was struggling. But he was strong, he was persistent and was determined to make to the top of that hill. A year ago Jacob would have been very frustrated and probably would have given up, but I was watching this 4 year old boy climb. I could not tell if he yelled for his friend Eli or not, but Eli showed up and came down to Jacob to help him the rest of the way. He carried the heavy load for him, and then they both got on and drove down the hill. Jacob was not upset that he did not get the front, but was content letting someone take the drivers seat. and he enjoyed the ride.

Our burden’s weren’t meant to lay upon our shoulders for a long period of time. We were meant to ask for help, and to receive the help, and to climb to the top victoriously. And then Allow God to take the drivers seat of our lives. And hop on and enjoy the ride.

Life’s struggles can be overwhelming at times and hard to shoulder. But remember to keep getting up, and keep being strong. And ask for help. And then Give control to him. For he cares for you.

Me want a benoo.

Jacob made me laugh so hard this night. Hence the shaking of the camera. He has always been able to communicate quite clearly what he wants, when he wants it. This has been interesting and challenging at times. He is so very independent and has been since he a wee one. Likes to do things on his own and gets frustrated when he can't complete it. He is a strong willed and determined and a stubborn little fellow. And does not back down. These things that were once a challenge. Are now turning into something that I admire about him. We butted heads a lot and still do, but I am learning to get to know who Jacob Thomas Hesch is, and who is he going to become. I am so looking forward to seeing what type of man he will be.
Enjoy the clip.