Day Three:
Coffee. I am in love with having a warm cup of coffee. I love wrapping my hand around the cup. It is soothing and comforting to the soul. Sitting in conversation with a coffee in hand is one of my most favorite things to do. I love it at home, the office, in my car sitting in silence. I love sharing it with friends, Oh and sitting on the dock at the cottage first thing in the morning, letting the sun beat down on you.
Coffee...Its a good thing. And guess what, no lie...one is perched next to me as I type.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
30 days of Pleasure-Intentionally noticing the good things in life.
Day: Two
The sun. I am so very thankful for the sun. I love lifting my head and letting my face soak in the golden rays. Good Old Vitamin D is good for the soul.
Friday, April 8, 2011
30 days of Pleasure-Intentionally noticing the good things in life.
Day one:
A hot bath. I must say that this is one of my favorite things. And it honestly gives me great pleasure. every night I have what I call
" my de stressor " I am so thankful for hot water and would feel lost without it.
A hot bath. I must say that this is one of my favorite things. And it honestly gives me great pleasure. every night I have what I call" my de stressor " I am so thankful for hot water and would feel lost without it.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I cry alot
I am very thankful for tears. I believe they help heal the soul. I am not sure that it is a biblical truth, but I do know that God made tear ducts and emotions and the lovely ability to cry.
I cry often, sometimes as a release. Sometimes because there is just nothing else to do. I am all out of fancy words to say and sometimes I feel so bad on the inside I have no other way to get it out.
Why am I sharing this, I am not sure. But I love emotions. I love it that I am not afraid to show my heart. I hurt deeply and I have had my fair share of tear stained pillows.
Tonight, I cry because I am afraid to loose him. I don't even know him that well, but we are attached and there is a unspoken connection there. I am his baby girl, and I love him more then words could ever express. I love him so much it hurts. I remember sitting in my window cill as a young child praying he would come rescue me. I wanted him. I longed for him. I needed him. He is my dad.
I am afraid. I am so afraid of loosing. Loosing him. Is he dying? no. but when I found him in 2007 I was instantly scared. Scared of the fact that he was going to leave and never return. scared that he was going to die on the drive home. I am so angry that he is old. That his body is not functioning properly. He is so strong and doesn't give up. He is in pain daily and still works.
God why? Mom why? Why didn't I get to see him grow up? Why didn't I get to see his face when I graduated? Why didn't I get to see him lift the veil and kiss my forehead on my wedding day? Why wasn't here there awaiting the arrival of my first born or my second?
Why does he live so far away? Is 2 hours that long? no...but he might as well live across the world. Because trying to blend 2 lives after 22 years is so hard to do.
So tonight I cry.
I want my daddy. I need my daddy. I miss my daddy.
Goodnight.
I cry often, sometimes as a release. Sometimes because there is just nothing else to do. I am all out of fancy words to say and sometimes I feel so bad on the inside I have no other way to get it out.
Why am I sharing this, I am not sure. But I love emotions. I love it that I am not afraid to show my heart. I hurt deeply and I have had my fair share of tear stained pillows.
Tonight, I cry because I am afraid to loose him. I don't even know him that well, but we are attached and there is a unspoken connection there. I am his baby girl, and I love him more then words could ever express. I love him so much it hurts. I remember sitting in my window cill as a young child praying he would come rescue me. I wanted him. I longed for him. I needed him. He is my dad.
I am afraid. I am so afraid of loosing. Loosing him. Is he dying? no. but when I found him in 2007 I was instantly scared. Scared of the fact that he was going to leave and never return. scared that he was going to die on the drive home. I am so angry that he is old. That his body is not functioning properly. He is so strong and doesn't give up. He is in pain daily and still works.
God why? Mom why? Why didn't I get to see him grow up? Why didn't I get to see his face when I graduated? Why didn't I get to see him lift the veil and kiss my forehead on my wedding day? Why wasn't here there awaiting the arrival of my first born or my second?
Why does he live so far away? Is 2 hours that long? no...but he might as well live across the world. Because trying to blend 2 lives after 22 years is so hard to do.
So tonight I cry.
I want my daddy. I need my daddy. I miss my daddy.
Goodnight.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The best date with my boy ever!
Jacob and I have a weekly date on Saturday mornings.(most Saturday's)and Jacob's favorite thing to do is go for breakfast. same as myself. I had the awesome privilege to have my son all to myself while Thomas took Chloe to the cottage yesterday and today. And I must say it was a GREAT time.
So what did we do? All of Jaker's favorite things. Took him out to dinner, went to the store to buy pop and junk food. Let him play his wii game while I held my scrap booking workshop.I also let him stay up late. ( not too late though) Took him out for breakfast, and let him talk about star wars the whole time :)then took him to the craft store, the book store and read and talked about more star wars ;)took him to his first and my first 3D movie. How to train a dragon. bought him his own pop and popcorn and licorice. Went to walmart to buy cat food- a must. But let him hang out in the Lego section forever!!! Bought him 2 tidbits at Tim Hortons instead of one. While I bought a coffee. I said yes instead of saying no. And it felt great.
I am a person that likes to have control. Even over the stupid stuff. The past couple of days I let that go. I tend to say no a lot and thought lets change that up a bit. It was freeing, and Jake has pronounced the past couple of days the best days of his entire life. That warmed my heart and made me smile. I want to make memories with both of my kids. and I want to spoil them once in awhile. And to learn to say yes more often then not rush and listen to endless stories about star wars. Why??? Cause it makes him feel loved and appreciated.
I am blessed indeed to have Jaker Baker as my son.
P:S Bedtime was only 15 Min's later. The pop was diet. shhhhh he would never know :)
So what did we do? All of Jaker's favorite things. Took him out to dinner, went to the store to buy pop and junk food. Let him play his wii game while I held my scrap booking workshop.I also let him stay up late. ( not too late though) Took him out for breakfast, and let him talk about star wars the whole time :)then took him to the craft store, the book store and read and talked about more star wars ;)took him to his first and my first 3D movie. How to train a dragon. bought him his own pop and popcorn and licorice. Went to walmart to buy cat food- a must. But let him hang out in the Lego section forever!!! Bought him 2 tidbits at Tim Hortons instead of one. While I bought a coffee. I said yes instead of saying no. And it felt great.
I am blessed indeed to have Jaker Baker as my son.
P:S Bedtime was only 15 Min's later. The pop was diet. shhhhh he would never know :)
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
My Lil Miss
Dear: Daughter
You were such a good baby, so quit and non-demanding.
Your hair is so pretty, I just can't cut it.
You are so petite.
You have a million facial expressions and use them daily.
You are dramatic and entertaining.
You light a room when you enter.
You are very girlie. You love dresses and pretending you’re a ballerina.
You love boy shows. Like Backugan and star wars.
You love your brother, even though you bite him.
You like having your toes painted to match mine.
You always say you "I love you" and you are very affectionate.
You independent. Yet you like us to do things for you.
You were fully toilet trained within 2 days. Even through the night.
Your blue eyes, sweet smile and adorable personality melts my heart.
You would be lost without your favourite little blankie and your thumb.
You love, love, love babies.
You love puzzles.
You are good at sharing...just not with your brother.
You want to marry your brothers best friend, Tie. And you kiss and hug and chase him every time you see him and have done so since you were 2 1/2.
You love your Grandma and papa. And you call Grandma "mom" it is sweet that you love her so much.
You sleep like a starfish and snore. You look so peaceful and secure. For that I feel blessed.
I love you lil miss.
Love, mom
You were such a good baby, so quit and non-demanding.
Your hair is so pretty, I just can't cut it.
You are so petite.
You have a million facial expressions and use them daily.
You are dramatic and entertaining.
You light a room when you enter.
You are very girlie. You love dresses and pretending you’re a ballerina.
You love boy shows. Like Backugan and star wars.
You love your brother, even though you bite him.
You like having your toes painted to match mine.
You always say you "I love you" and you are very affectionate.
You independent. Yet you like us to do things for you.
You were fully toilet trained within 2 days. Even through the night.
Your blue eyes, sweet smile and adorable personality melts my heart.
You would be lost without your favourite little blankie and your thumb.
You love, love, love babies.
You love puzzles.
You are good at sharing...just not with your brother.
You want to marry your brothers best friend, Tie. And you kiss and hug and chase him every time you see him and have done so since you were 2 1/2.
You love your Grandma and papa. And you call Grandma "mom" it is sweet that you love her so much.
You sleep like a starfish and snore. You look so peaceful and secure. For that I feel blessed.
I love you lil miss.
Love, mom
My Mr. Man- Things I notice about you.
Dear: Son
You are completive.
You are strong.
You are a lover of star wars Lego.
You love snuggling and hugs
You love Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows
You love pizza and eat more then me.
You love succeeding and doing things perfectly, with zero errors
You like to quit if things don't turn out perfect.
You hate hot sauce and mushrooms and most meats.
You love going new places.
You love being outdoors.
You love people and having lots if friends. You are SO social.
You are loved by all of your peers.
You like boxer’s cause you look like your dad.
You love money, counting it, saving it, spending it.
You are a very private person.
You love your sister, even though she bites you.
You have a best friend, Tie.
You tell me you want to be married and have no kids. But never change a diaper. Ha...we will see about that one.
You are funny and silly.
You asked Jesus into your heart when you were 4. And when you are scared you always ask me to pray with you.
You love your grandparents, and for that I feel blessed.
You are built like your dad, look like your dad. But you are just like me.
You think that you are stupid, but you are so smart.
You are so very emtional. We are trying to learn to use self control.
You love to play Lacrosse.
I love you bud.
Mom.
You are completive.
You are strong.
You are a lover of star wars Lego.
You love snuggling and hugs
You love Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows
You love pizza and eat more then me.
You love succeeding and doing things perfectly, with zero errors
You like to quit if things don't turn out perfect.
You hate hot sauce and mushrooms and most meats.
You love going new places.
You love being outdoors.
You love people and having lots if friends. You are SO social.
You are loved by all of your peers.
You like boxer’s cause you look like your dad.
You love money, counting it, saving it, spending it.
You are a very private person.
You love your sister, even though she bites you.
You have a best friend, Tie.
You tell me you want to be married and have no kids. But never change a diaper. Ha...we will see about that one.
You are funny and silly.
You asked Jesus into your heart when you were 4. And when you are scared you always ask me to pray with you.
You love your grandparents, and for that I feel blessed.
You are built like your dad, look like your dad. But you are just like me.
You think that you are stupid, but you are so smart.
You are so very emtional. We are trying to learn to use self control.
You love to play Lacrosse.
I love you bud.
Mom.
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